I could never make a display of what goes on in my head. Never could make a display of my emotions. I never really found a reason to. What happens inside…was best kept inside. I still believe so. But I’ve been told…I end up building a wall around me. Does it help me protect from the hurt and pain? Often it does. More often I merely internalise them. Does that make the suffering go away? Or does it even make it pain any less? It doesn’t.
But I’d still prefer keeping them for me. My thoughts are all my own. And I am not the one to open my soul for everyone to see. Too personal, these feelings are to me.
But I do envy those who can show their wounds in the open. While others peer for a closer look, it makes them heal faster. Would it do the same to me? Even the thought makes me cringe. The blood and gash are maybe too dear for me to make a show of.
I’d rather internalise them. Try and heal them. Or maybe live with them. But I’d keep them safe within me.
