Okay so, I have been married for a little more than two years now. And in these two years, I have come to know more about the man I live with than I did during those 10 years of dating him. Well, we were on and off you know. Like most long-distance relationships are. And, we like to consider ourselves a rare breed—college sweethearts-turned-married couple. I am sure we aren’t as rare as we would love to be!
So what have I learnt about the man who travels extensively for his work? He is bloody brilliant. But as all brilliant people are—he is forgetful. Now where do I begin?
Going to the movie hall
He books movie tickets at the last minute on a Saturday evening. We always do things at the last minute. Well, we are like that. Remember being rare and all? So, I am still applying my lip gloss and adjusting my still-wet-from-hurried-shampooed hair, when we reach the movie hall. I follow him inside and mutter reassuringly, “We have missed the first 10 minutes of the movie, but that’s okay…”, when we are stopped at the entrance. The guard squints at my husband’s phone and e-ticket and says, “Wrong hall”.
So, he has conveniently gotten us to the wrong hall and now we must again make our way through Mumbai’s traffic on a Saturday evening to reach the right one. And reach we did. But after the interval.
I forget what movie it was. I am a writer, I am allowed to be forgetful, am I not?
It’s Sunday night and we are both pretty miserable. Monday mornings and all that… So we decide to download a movie we both wanted to watch for a long time. Why did we want to watch it? Hmm… now let me think. Aah yes, because of the actor, who according to reviews had done a brill job. So the movie is downloaded and we happily start watching the movie on our laptop. “It’s past midnight, but that’s okay. We will try waking up on time tomorrow,” I assure him.
So the movie is on… 15 minutes go by, so do the next 15. After another 15 (let’s do some calculation: 45 minutes into a 1.5 hour film) I realise something’s amiss. But what? “Where’s the actor?” I ask. “He should appear any minute,” was the response. “Hmm hmm”… We continue watching. After 15 more minutes without any luck, we look at each other. “Have we been watching the wrong movie?” It turns out we were. He has in fact downloaded some nondescript movie instead of the one we wanted to watch. And it is already time for us to hit the bed and whine a little about a Sunday midnight so wasted.
But I am at fault too. I should have enquired about the actor’s presence (here absence) way before the 1-hour mark, what say?
Booking flight tickets
Oh dear, now where do I begin?
To put it simply, we have paid extra every time he has had to book flight tickets. Because there had to be last minute cancellations made. Why, you ask? Umm… now where to begin?
A Mumbai-Kolkata flight invariably becomes a Kolkata-Mumbai flight. How am I supposed to board a flight from Mumbai, if the ticket says departure from Kolkata? If someone needs to book a 4 PM flight, he books a 4 AM flight. If we have to book a ticket for March 10, he books it for May 10.
Hey, both start with M!
A dollop of moisturiser
Nothing suits my husband better than the “men will be men” adage.
“This frequent travelling and change of weather is making my skin so dry,” he complains one day over the phone. I ask him to pick up one of those moisturiser bottles he gets at the hotels. (Yeah fine, I am a hoarder of all things found in hotel washrooms.) He complies, as he always does, ever so sweetly. He comes home after a week, his face flushed and a little swollen. “Are you not applying any moisturiser or what,” I ask. “I am. But each time I do, my skin burns like crazy.” “May be you are not applying enough. Use it twice every day,” is my stern advice.
The next time I see him (which is after seven days), his face is as red as before. “Where is this moisturiser you’ve been using? Are you even using one? Why would your face still be this red if you are,” I say. He fishes out a bottle from his travel bag. I stare at the bottle and at him in disbelief. He has been rubbing shampoo on his face all along.
I hand him my moisturiser, something I should have done way before. My bad really.